


something to remember

by lolalecomte



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: F/F, Neighbours AU, bold!maya woking in a tattoo shop, girl next door (literally)!Lola but she’s not that innocent, i had this idea and why not, in this au lola isn’t an addict, lola and daphnè live together and surprisingly they get along well, so much gay pining, there’s some canon compliant but i changed a lot of things, this is for all mayla fic starved folks including me, tw are going to be at the beginning of every chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25136728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolalecomte/pseuds/lolalecomte
Summary: “I didn’t mean to scare my neighbour so quickly, I’m sorry.” The girl is smiling jokingly at her, her arms are crossed and her back is flattened on the wall behind her. “I’m Maya, nice to meet you.”Oh, so her name is Maya.“Lola. The neighbour.” Lola regrets her words as soon as they come out of her mouth. God, what is she even saying?Or: Lola just transferred in a new apartment with her sister and meets Maya, her noisy neighbour that is not actually as bad as she initially thinks. Definitely not that bad. It’s not like the gay panic hits her immediately. Obviously not.
Relationships: Lola Lecomte/Maya Etienne
Comments: 18
Kudos: 147





	1. if it’s way too soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, I received pretty good feedbacks on my first fic so I’m back with another one YEEEY. I had this idea in mind and i’m actually pretty satisfied on how it turned out. Hope you’ll like it!
> 
> Trigger warnings are going to be in the notes at the beginning of every chapter.
> 
> Tw: mention of alcoholism, mention of parent’s death, mention of car accident

“I know this is not what you expected but we’ll make it work.”

No, this is definitely not what Lola expected. Their new apartment is small, too small considering the amout of privacy both sisters needs. Right after the doorway a large room welcomes them with a cream colored sofa on one side, a table right in the middle with four chairs and a tiny kitchen that covers half of the wall in front of them.  
She steps in their new home with a clear expression of disappointment, eyeing around. There are two doors: one brings to the bathroom and the other to the only bedroom. Why did she even agree to move with Daphnè?

First of all, it was a rushed decision. Their father found another woman eventually, he feel in love with her and brought her to live with them after just two months of dating. They knew he was feeling terribly lonely after the death of their mother and not even their constant presence healed his loneliness. Needless to say that the two sisters didn’t expect him to bring another person in the house that fast.  
From there it all went downhill. Lola hated Marie from the first second and Daphnè too, she was just a little bit less harsh in demostrating it.  
The idea of getting an apartment together came one night, when they found their “mother in law” removing forniture from Lola’s bedroom to create a walk-in closet.  
That was enough.  
Daphnè worked in a coffee shop in Paris and Lola helped her sometimes, since she decided to not go to college after her bac. The owner of the coffee shop had a spare apartment in the suburbs of Paris, not to far from the shop itself, and offered it to the Lecomte sisters as soon as she knew what situation they were in. The montly price was acceptable.

Now that she thinks about it, on the reason they effectively decided to move, there’s no need to complain that much. Even if she still wants to do it. Her privacy counts to her more than anything.  
“Who’s gonna sleep in the bedroom?” Lola asks, even if she already knows the answer.  
“Uhm — you can get it if you want... I can sleep on the couch. The only problem is if Basile wants to come here, the couch is too small for two people. But in that case, i don’t know, we can switch it up? Just for a night or two?” Daphnè is sitting in one of the chairs near the table with her hands on her lap. Her eyes are on the youngest, questioning what reply she’s going to have. Lola knows that her sister wants that room, it’s literally writtern on her face.  
“I will sleep on the couch. I don’t have a special someone to invite over, so...” Daphnè face lit up with a smile at her words and she smiled too. After all, she didn’t really have anyone to invite over and when she wanted to have a one night stand it would usually happen at the guy or girl’s house. It didn’t happen often but still.

Their father helped them to bring their things to the new apartment and they were lucky it was already fournished, so they didn’t have to buy forniture themselves.  
The orange light of down penetrates through the courtains, letting them know its already dinner time. Daphnè didn’t have time to go shopping for food, so Lola decides to order some pizza and get away with it for the first night together.  
“I couldn’t stand Marie anymore, I swear. When I saw her in your room I lost all the patience!” Her sister says while chewing a piece of crust. She really did lost her patience and Lola still mocks her about it. Daphnè almost never screams but when she does it’s a show.  
“Thank god we won’t see her again everyday anymore. We’re still going to bear with her on family dinners but... Yeah, we’ll find a way.” Lola nods. She’s listening to her sister but doesn’t say a word in response. She definitely still has to adapt at their new surrounding and she’s more a listener than a talker anyway.

After cleaning up and literally sending Daphnè to bed (sometimes she just talks too much!), Lola has finally time to lay on the couch. It’s comfortable overall, the cushions are soft and with the covers on it  
it feels almost like a normal bed. She’s slowly starting to drift off to sleep when she hears a loud noise, a closing door, coming from outside the apartment.  
Daphnè and her noticed they had neighbours and also very messy ones. Their plants were everywhere around the hall just above the stairs and they could tell they were pretty well watered because some of it spilled on the pavement.  
The loud noise is soon followed by giggles and laughters, rock music starts playing in the background and in this moment Lola realizes how much the wall are thin. She can hear everything. Everything.  
Her neighbours are having fun, a lot of fun according to the obscene noises she can hear. Okay, she can handle it for a while. Two hours later though they are still going at it and Lola is done. She hits the wall with the palm of her hands until it hurts but she’s sure they heard her because they stop soon after.  
At almost three in the morning, the house turns silent again and she finally sleeps.

When she wakes up, Daphnè already left for work. There’s nothing in their fridge and the only solution to eat something is buying food at the supermarket just around the corner. After making herself presentable, she heads out the door, just in time to see her neighbour with a girl.  
And what a surprise. The noisy neighbour is actually a girl, a very pretty girl with bright purple hair, plump lips and a huge smile. She’s wearing a long black blouse that hangs just above her knees and the buttons on the front are undone, leaving part of her chest exposed.  
She’s smiling at the girl in front her, while bringing her hair above her hears. So, that’s the screaming girl from yesterday. Now the picture is clear. It has to be her girlfriend or her one night stand.  
Her neighbour notices her as she’s walking towards the elevator. Lola and her lock eyes for a second, then another, till the purple haired girl speaks.  
“I’ll call you back, don’t worry — but maybe next time keep it quiet, I have neighbours now.” The girl in front of her giggles but she’s not paying attention to her anymore, she’s looking at Lola straight in the eyes again.

What even was that? Before she can hear anything else from the two, Lola goes into the elevator and let the doors close in front of her. Breathe, Lola, breathe. No, it can’t be gay panic, definitely not.  
So far she knows three things about her neighbour: she’s a girl, she loves loud rock music and well... girls.  
Strange how a walk to the nearest supermarket turns into a whole conversation with herself about the girl. She’s never been in a relationship, they require time and she really doesn’t want to end up like Daphnè and Basile, always getting lovey dovey whenever they can.  
But those deep brown eyes and purple hair caught Lola off guard, making her stomach turn and her heartbeat faster.  
She won’t do anything about it though.

After buying some groceries with the money Daphnè left her, she’s on her way home. Just as she’s about to open her house’s door a voice behind her makes her jump a little bit and turn back.  
“I didn’t mean to scare my neighbour so quickly, I’m sorry.” The girl is smiling jokingly at her, her arms are crossed and her back is flattened on the wall behind her. “I’m Maya, nice to meet you.”  
Oh, so her name is Maya.  
“Lola. The neighbour.” Lola regrets her words as soon as they come out of her mouth. God, what is she even saying? She always used to be confident when it came to girls and boys but Maya has a completely different vibe. She’s magnetic in a way and Lola almost feels intimidated without any reason to be.  
“I’m sorry for last night, by the way. I forgot someone new came to live in the apartment.” Maya grins, letting her eyes follow the line of Lola’s face.  
“Don’t worry. I don’t like sleeping anyway.”  
And that’s a lie. A complete lie. But she can’t help herself.  
“And what you like to do?” She brings a strand of her purple her behind her hears, showing more of her neck, and a smirk appears on her face.  
“Certainly not taking care of plants.” She turns her gaze towards the plants, now arranged in a tidier way and no more leaking water on the floor.  
“Too bad.” Maya’s laughing now, her head also turned towards the plants, but her eyes search Lola’s ones. Is Maya trying to flirt? Probably. Is Lola interested? Very.  
She smiles playfully, if that’s the game Maya wants to play than Lola will follow.  
“Are you down for pizza tonight at my place? Better start to sympathise between neighbours.”  
She had pizza yesterday but she can’t refuse Maya’s offer. It’s just pizza, friendly time within young neighbours, nothing has to happen and nothing will happen, they literally just met.  
“Mh, yeah sure.” she nods and before she can say something else, Maya’s phone rings.  
“I have to take it — i’ll see you tonight then.” and with that, she quickly returns inside her apartment.  
Lola does the same thing right after, stepping into the living room and letting the supermarket bag fall on the floor.  
She doesn’t know what she’s signing up for yet.

...

Maya’s apartment is exactly like hers, only messier. Her plants are everywhere and she used fairy lights to decorate some of them. She painted the walls with a light lilac paint and on one of them she attached a long piece of cord to hang some photos. Lola spends a little too much time analyzing them, trying to connect the dots that compose her life. In one of the photograph there’s a probably ten years old Maya with a big, big smile, holding a little bear with a man and a woman at her sides. Her parents for sure.  
In another one, she’s in company of another girl and two guys in what seems like an abandoned place. She looks happy.

“You like them?” Maya approaches her from behind, putting her hands inside the pocked of her red hoodie.  
“They’re cool.” they really are, Lola thinks but doesn’t say. She never had a group of friends with who she could take photos like that and her parents — well, they were completely focused on Daphnè for most of her life.  
They don’t talk that much after that, or at least of nothing important. Maya tells her about her job in a tattoo shop, a little bit about her friends and urbex. Lola listens to her carefully while eating and even asks some questions to get to know her better.  
They find a good flow between silence and spoken words and when they finish their pizzas they find themselves splayed of the couch.  
“I told you, the perks of living alone!” Maya laughs “You come home when you want, you do what you want... And you have to pay the bills.” Maya adds, sighing.  
“You’re lucky that your parents let you leave the house so young though.” Lola answers with a longing tone. Without her sister, her father would have never let her live alone, especially because she’s young, without a stable job and he thinks she’s too all over the place to handle an apartment all by herself.  
“It didn’t go exactly like that.” the smile on Maya’s face disappears in a second and for a moment Lola thinks she can see the girl’s eyes getting a little watery.  
When she talks again, she does it with a melancholy-filled tone. “My parents died two years ago in a car accident. I was already eighteen so i had to take care of myself. I stayed at my friend’s house for a while, then i found a job and when i had enough money i rented this flat. It’s my house, yes, but my _home_ — i lost it forever.” Maya has her lips pressed in a sad smile and Lola feels herself mirroring it.

She didn’t have the best relationship with her mother and during the day it’s easy to pretend she doesn’t care that much about her death but when the night comes she feels it. She feels all the rage, she hears herself screaming at her and re-experiences all the times when she wanted to get out of their house just not to see her mother again. But, contemporaneously, she also feels the heat of her mother body pressed against her back after one of their fights, the soft kiss she used to place on her hair and her “I know I’m not the mother you deserve Lola, I’m so sorry.” whispered in her hear. Maybe she’ll never completely forget her mom for her mistakes, for not curing her alcoholism, for letting Daphnè and her father handle her when she didn’t have control on herself anymore. But of all the things her mother has done that Lola maybe will never forget the worst one is for sure leaving her alone. Dying without gaving Lola a little chance to rebuild their relationship. Because as much as she wanted to believe she hated her, her mother was the only person she could relate to when she was sober. She did understand her like nobody ever did.

“I’m sorry.” Lola mutters but she knows it’s not enough. How many times people said sorry to Maya? People say it all the time without meaning it. She gathers all her courage and continues “My mother died too, she had a stroke five months ago. We didn’t get along that much but I know how it feels like to lose your home, especially how it feels like to know you’ll never get it back.” She keeps a steady voice but from her expression is clear what she’s feeling.  
Maya seems surprised to hear Lola’s words and as she expected, she’s probably not used to hear more than a simple I’m sorry.  
“Did she had an heart condition?” she asks, her soft gaze fixated on Lola looking for any sign of discomfort.  
“No... She was alcoholic.” And it’s harder that she tought to say it, it makes all the memories come back in an instant and she really doesn’t want to ruin the little bubble she created with Maya with her family’s history, at least not now.  
“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want, I won’t ask.” Maya’s lips curves into a small comforting smile. Lola notices immediately that they somehow got closer while talking and their crossed legs are touching now. “Thank you.” That’s the only thing she says, voice low and calm.

After their mutual confessions, they keep the conversation going but with a less heavy tone. Lola tells her about her interest in photography and how she would like to turn it into a job someday and Maya explains to her how she discovered urbex and her weekly sessions in a new place everytime.  
Time passes extremely fast and before the two girls realize it, it’s already three in the morning and the deem light of the evening was replaced only by the fairy lights in Maya’s living room long ago.  
“I should go, you probably work tomorrow.” She says, indicating the digital clock on the little shelf near them.  
“Don’t worry, I don’t like sleeping anyway.” Maya is such a tease. And Lola can’t help but giggle a little bit. “No seriously, don’t worry. We should do this again sometimes.” Their eyes lock, they stare at eachother for what seems like an eternity without saying a word and Maya takes advantage of the silence to bring one of Lola’s strand of hair behind her ears.  
“Yeah, we should.” Lola ends up saying and quickly gets up from the couch they were sitting on.  
As soon as she’s out of Maya’s apartment, she lets out a big breath and closes her eyes. _I'm so fucked_ , she thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr at @nowaynoee


	2. fuck it, whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect to update this fic so soon but here i am, yey. 
> 
> The protagonist of this chapter? GAY PANIC but also a big surprise at the end.  
> Also can i mention one thing? HANDS.
> 
> Tw: mention of parent’s death

The world is full of people that are afraid of love.

Lola isn’t one of them though. She’s not afraid of love, she’s afraid of intimacy. She’s afraid of letting someone it, letting someone see past her toughness and sarcasm, the only two things that helped her when things were going downhill.  
Because without them Lola is nothing but a sweet soul, bent but not broken, scared to fall again into that loneliness and sadness that followed her for years.  
She kept a diary for some time and she thought it was pathetic. Except she didn’t really have any friends to talk to, a therapist was too expensive and her family wasn’t even an option. It did help her to keep her thoughts and feelings in control but it wasn’t enough and writing wasn’t really her thing.

She started getting interested in photography during high school, when she found her mother’s camera hidden under piles of clothes she threw around the room while she was drunk. She brought it with her everywhere she went ever since. Through photography she could express what she was feeling without being limited by words, just by letting her surroundings tell her story indirectly. Also, it was an excuse to get out of her house as frequently as possibile without having Daphnè and her father worrying about her.  
It was her coping mechanism. It still is. And it saved her.

She only captures objects, nature or graffiti but, for the first time, she wonders how a person would look through her camera’s lenses.

...

The next days pass quickly.  
Lola sees Maya occasionally because she’s probably busy with work and Lola herself is also trying to convince the coffee shop owner to give her more turns to start being economically independent or at least save some money.  
Maya gave her her number during the evening they spent together and she had to stop herself from texting her the minute she was out of her apartment. Of course Lola wants to see her again. And she knows Maya probably thinks the same. But still, she doesn’t want to sound too overbearing or to make it look like she can’t stay away from her even if they met literally just a week ago. She wants to slap herself in the face. She can do casual. She can flirt and then drop the person without any second thought. She can do one night stands no feelings attached.  
Why is so different with Maya? Lola tries to give herself a logic explanation but can’t find any. Maybe it’s just the way the purple haired girl looks at her, the way she’s so easy to talk to, the way she burned Lola’s bridges down in just a couple of hours without even trying to. Lola knows what chemistry is and for sure she found it with Maya.  
A part of her is tempted to do nothing about it, to let if flow hoping the opportunity won’t pass her by. But the other is already thriving and wants to take it, to claim it even, because if you really want something you can’t expect that it comes to you without the minimum act of courage. _Get out of your comfort zone, Lola_.

 ** _to Maya_** : i watered your plants because you seem very busy this week. lola mode gardener activated 🍀

Lola really did water Maya’s plants, not that they needed it, but it seemed a good excuse to text her without hitting on her with some clichè message she would hate for sure and that would make Lola cringe and regret it for the rest of her life. Her phone buzzes in her pocket a few minutes later, thankfully.

 _ **from Maya**_ : you’re making progress i see 😉

 ** _to Maya_** : still not into plants though, don’t get your hopes up 😌😌

 _ **from Maya**_ : maybe not into plants but into me for sure 😘

Lola’s eyes widens at Maya’s reply and she swears she almost feel her heart burst out of her chest. Okay, that’s some pretty heavy gay panic. And Maya is right, she’s so into her already and it’s embarrassing that she can’t help but being obvious about it. The little glances in the hall, the smiles they throw at one another even when Maya’s in a rush for work, the occasional croissant Lola left in front of her neighbour’s door one morning because she thought she would appreciate it. She’s in deep.  
In the end, she doesn’t reply to Maya but a few hours later another message from her appears on the screen.

 _ **from Maya**_ : wanna join me to an urbex party on saturday?

Maya ended up talking a lot about urbex during their evening and Lola payed attention to whatever she was saying. The possibility of being arrested isn't exactly something she's interested in but the overall idea of an abandoned place where she can take a lot of cool photos is definitely tempting, especially at night with party lights and loud music.  
She knows Daphnè would never let her go but at the same time lying to her wasn’t too difficult. In the past she had to get away with lies she wasn’t particularly proud of but her sister has always been protective of her and sometimes it just became too much to handle.  
She reads and re-reads Maya’s text, thinking about a possible excuse to tell Daphne. It’s already late night when she finally decides to reply to her but a knock on her door interrupts her.

“Hey, nice to see you again neighbour.” Maya is laying on the right side of her body at the wall near her entrance and has a playful smirk on her lips.  
“What are you doing here? I thought you were busy.” She questions, crossing her arms in front of her. If only she could have predicted that Maya would knock at her door at midnight, Lola would have definitely dress up better and not with an old pajama that is three times her size.  
“I was but come on, it’s midnight, i don’t work till this late.” She says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and once again Lola feels embarrassment seeping up in her veins and appear on her face.  
“And you didn’t reply to my text” Maya adds. Okay, she may be into Maya but her coming to her house just because she didn’t reply one of her text is pretty self explanatory. She is into Lola too.  
“Sorry about that, it’s just that i have to find an excuse to come, my sister — Hey, wait, wanna come inside?” Lola opens the door wider, revealing her empty apartment. Thank god Daphnè went to Basile’s for the night and she has their flat all for her.  
“Uhm, yeah sure.” she steps into the apartment carefully, like she’s testing if Lola really wants her there and stands on her feet until the brunette doesn’t make some space on the couch for her. They are sitting next to one another and their knees touch a little bit. Just that minimum contact makes Lola shiver.  
“As i was saying, i have to find an excuse for my sister. She’s too protective of me sometimes... But i will come — On saturday. At the urbex party.” she mumbles, a soft smile on her lips.  
“You’re lucky to have a sister though.” Maya ends up repling, after a few seconds of silence, she’s serious and it’s clear that she means what she’s saying.

And she is lucky, she really is. For a good part of her life she thought it was a curse because her parents were always so focused on her sister. She was the one with good grades, a lot of friends and a bright future in front of her. Lola, on the contrary, has always hated school, never had actual friends and didn’t know much about what she wanted to do in the future, except that she wanted photography to be involved in it. Daphnè though never made her feel bad about herself and tried in every way to get close to her during her teen years but Lola never let her, not until their mother’s death. That’s when she found herself so lost in what could have been that she was basically obligated to let someone in to not drown in the sea of sorrow. And her sister was there.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Lola blurts out, trying to fill the comfortable silence they’ve fallen in. She has horrible taste in movies but that’s the first thing that came to her mind to spend some quality time with Maya. It’s not like she’s hoping to not watch the movie at all and do something else instead. No.  
“Only if you let me choose.” She stated and who was Lola to not let her. She has better taste then her for sure.  
Maya chooses “Portrait of a lady on fire” and soon Lola realises why. It’s something. They watch the movie in a comfortable silence, eating some popcorns she bought two days before and talking only when crucial parts came to the screen.  
Near the end of it, Maya has placed her hand on Lola’s thigh, a warm steady presence that was enough for Lola to let out a little sigh.  
Only when Maya starts caressing her skin whit her nails things get a little harder to control. It takes such a small effort to turn, cup Maya’s face with her hands and let their lips meet but she wants it to be special, to be meaningful because this girl is not and will not become a one night stand.  
The movie finishes, breaking the bubble between them.

“You liked it?” Maya asks, grabbing the remote to turn off the tv, still with her hand placed on Lola's thigh.  
“Very much.” and it’s true, Lola did really like the movie even if she didn’t pay as much attention as she initially intended to.  
Now that she notices it, the distance that separated her and Maya got smaller and smaller and the girl is just at a few centimetres from the side of her face.  
“I wonder why.” Maya whispers in her ear, letting her nails drag delicately on the soft skin of Lola’s arm till it reaches her hand.  
“It’s late... I should go to bed.” Lola mumbles, swallowing audibly. Not even a second later the girl the to her stops every movement and gets up quickly. Lola feels Maya’s discomfort, she probably thinks she’s done something wrong or that she went to far and there’s nothing more that the brunette wants to do then tell her it’s not like that. She stays silent though, her breathing fast and with her cheeks painted in red.  
“Yeah you should — Umh... See you on saturday then, yeah?” Maya gulped, it isn’t really a question, it’s more a “I hope this doesn’t make things awkward” type of thing. Lola just nods and closes the door the second her neighbour is out of her flat.

 _Oh fuck, she thinks i'm straight_.

The realization hits her like a truck. Of course Maya thinks she’s straight after Lola refused the physical contact she offered her. It was pretty clear Maya wasn’t, she literally heard her entertaining herself with another girl the first night at the apartment. But Lola... She didn’t give any sign she wasn’t and Maya made a courageous move a few minutes ago, she tried her luck and she thought probably that her gay radar was wrong this time.  
The urbex party is Lola’s only opportunity to show Maya how she literally yeeted away any resume of her straightness.

...

Saturday comes slowly and Maya didn’t send her any text since the movie night. It’s plausible after the whole “she thinks i’m straight” fiasco but still.  
So she gathers all her courage once again and makes the first move, tapping on Maya’s chat and typing a message.

 _ **to Maya**_ : so party tonight? 🎶

Maya sees the text but doesn’t reply right away. Fair enough. After what it seems like an enternity, her phone buzzes.

 _ **from Maya**_ : yeah  
_**from Maya**_ : my friends will pick me up at ten, do you want to come with us?

 _ **to Maya**_ : sure, i’ll be ready 😉  
_**to Maya**_ : i’ll bring my camera

 _ **from Maya**_ : 👌👌

...

Last chance to impress Maya? Better make it count.  
Lola has her hair in a half bun, her makeup makes her eyes stand out and she even opts for a few drops of parfume on her neck because who knows what can happen. She’s wearing a black top with a black skirt and black thighs, maybe not very colourful but it’ll have a good impact either way.  
She’s about to put on her boots when she hears a knock on her door. Maya.  
“Hey! I’m almost ready —“ she says and from her half bent position she takes a look at the girl in front of her.  
Maya is wearing a simple pair of washed jeans and a black jacked with fluo patterns on it. Her purple hair are straightened and she has a bright lilac lipstick that enhances even more her plump lips.

Straightness? Never heard of her.

“Come on, they’re waiting for us.” Maya states, she’s smiling but Lola can tell she’s a bit uncomfortable after she rejected her the last time.  
When Lola is ready, they make their way out of the hall and onto the street, after a round of gay staring inside their elevator.  
A car is waiting for them not too distant from where they are and she can already hear the loud techno music coming from it. She ends up sitting on the back, in the middle, with Maya pressed on her right side and another girl with big green eyes on the left.  
“Oh my god — So you are Lola? 𝘛𝘏𝘈𝘛 Lola?” the girl literally shouts in her ear and can’t stop giggling like an excited puppy. Lola already likes her and she can’t help but giving her a big smile in return, nodding.  
“Well... Let’s do the presentation, shall we?” Maya starts. “She’s Jo and she’s loud and sometimes annoying but you probably already noticed that.” she’s sarcastic and Jo gives her the middle finger straight away. “This is Max, our only driver, and he’s Sekou, our google maps in human form.” Max is rolling his eyes but has a playful smiles on his lips and Sekou starts laughing, giving himself a pat on the back. Lola opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by Jo right away.  
“Don’t worry you don’t need to present yourself, we know who you are VERY well!” Jo exclaims, turning her gaze towards Maya and winking at her.  
“She’s not wrong.” Lola hears Max admitting with a laugh.  
“𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱?” Maya rolls her eyes and sighs, unsure of what to do now that her friends exposed her.  
Lola has clear one thing now: Maya talked with her friends about her and pretty well even, considering the reactions.  
“Is your first urbex party, Lola?” Sekou asks her, shifting the topic of the conversation in something less embarassing for his friend.  
“Yeah, I didn’t even know what urbex was before Maya. She explained it to me. I hope I will be able to take some good photos while we’re there!” She takes her camera in her hands, showing it to the boy.  
“You will for sure! But since we’re not technically allowed to have parties in private properties I suggest you to not post them anywhere. You know, the sanctions are so high, they go from like three hundred euros to prison even, it’s crazy that —“ he’s interrupted by Jo, who not so graciously hits him on his shoulder.  
“Sekou nobody cares about sanctions and that stuff!” and then turns her attention to Lola again. “It’s SO COOL that you take photos, I can’t wait to see them after the party! We’re gonna have so much fun I swear. At least till the cops won’t be called by some random guardian — but this is not the point now, let’s make our entrance and then let’s get waisted on VODKA!” Lola likes Jo but she’ll probably bring with her some ear caps next time she’ll go out with her. At the mention of alcohol, Maya turns to her looking for any sign of discomfort and Lola appreciates it.

“We’re here fam.” the music in the car stops abruptly and Max voice is perfectly audible now. Let the party begin.

...

The first hours pass by without Lola even noticing it.  
There's a huge fire in the middle of the abandoned building and every now and then people pour alcohol on it to make it even bigger. The music is extremely loud and the DJ has some pretty good taste thankfully. Everybody is dancing.  
Jo, Max and Sekou found a very old couch to splay themselves on while drinking and they're chatting loudly about the story of the place, who organized the party and how one time the guardian caught them and they had to run so fast that Jo had an asthma attack soon after.  
She lost Maya in the crowd not too long after they arrived, apparently she knows a lot of people that do urbex since they basically all go in the tattoo shop she works in.  
Lola started taking pictures of the edifice and the art that collected on the walls through the years. Some artist are extremely talented.

Lost in a flow, Lola comes back to reality when the music changes, from strong techno beat to a softer and slower rhythm.  
Even if she's alone, because Jo, Max and Sekou are still talking and drinking and Maya is nowhere to be found, she begins to dance and lose herself in that soft melody.  
She sways her hips and brings her arm up in the air till she finds a repetitive choreography that suits the mood of the music. She moves and moves and moves till sweat makes her skin shine, too high on the moment to feel the tiredness of her muscles.  
She stops dancing only when she feels an hand touching gently her shoulder from behind, making her turn around.  
Maya is even more beautiful under the flashing lights. Her hair are a bit ruffled, she probably danced too, her lipstick is still there and she doesn't have her jacket on anymore, leaving her torso covered in a black loose top that shows a bit of her chest.

"Seems like you're having fun." she shouts, trying to make herself be heard over the loud music in the backgroud.  
"Yeah! — Do you wanna dance? I mean... With me?" Lola offers her her hand with a smirk, waiting for Maya to take it. And she does, letting her fingers interwine with Lola's ones. They circle each other, their gaze locked. Maya places an hand on her waist and Lola answers with an hand on the side of her neck in the intent of bringing her closer. They dance like this for some time, their bodies in perfect sync. Maya makes Lola turn round when the track changes, so that now her chest is against the brunette back.  
The latter brings her hand back, finding Maya's hair and taking advantage of the holds she has on them to make her come closer, till her lips touch Lola's neck.  
She's is clearly stating her intentions and inviting the other girl to follow along.  
Abruptly, Maya puts both her hands on Lola's hips, pressing a little, just enough to make the girl turn around again in her arms. From there, it all happens in a blurred whim.

Lola circles her arms around Maya's neck, pushing her towards her till their forehead touch.  
The older girl still has her hand on Lola's hips but she slowly moves them until she can place them into the back pockets of her skirt.  
Maya's face is so close to hers that she can feel her breath on her lips and it's intoxicating already. This girl is such a tease and she's losing her patience.  
In a surge of courage, Lola closes the distance between them letting their lips meet in a soft, short kiss. It starts slowly, to test the ground, and then Maya takes the lead kissing her boldy, licking into her mouth like her life depends on it. Maybe it's too heated considering they're still in a public place with a lot of people around but they can't care less.  
Lola separates from Maya's lips only to leave open mouthed kisses on the girl's jaw and neck, till she reaches the start of her shoulder. Maya lets one of her hand slide into Lola's hair and a tiny moan escapes her mouth.  
"You don't know how much I waited for this." Lola whispers in Maya's hear, a little bit out of breath, and then bites gently her lobe.  
"I seriously thought you were straight." Maya giggles between heavy breaths.  
"The only straight thing here is your hair. Just saying." and with that, the brunette grabs delicately a strand of purple har, bringing it over Maya's ear.  
Before she can go for another kiss, Maya interrupts her. "Wanna get out of here?" she asks, pupils wide and her fingers slowly making their way under Lola's top.  
"Yes please." she mutters, her lips curved in a tiny smile.

...

The ride home is truly a hell.

Jo can't stop teasing both of them because apparently their kiss made a scene and all of them saw what was happening. Max and Sekou keep it on the low, laughing occasionally.  
"I swear, I almost thought you were about to fuck right there! I'll never be the same after seeing your mouths opening so wide - Okay, maybe I'll still be the same but come on, I want a person too who can make my tongue dance like yours did." Jo exclaimes, crossing her arm on her lap in sign of disappointment.  
"Maybe you should try to stop laying on every couch you can find at parties and socialize with humans instead of vodka bottles." Max remarks, making Jo snort loudly.  
"Remind me why I still go out with you, you're so annoying, fuck!" She replies and before she can add something else, Sekou turns to her.  
"Because we're the only ones that still listen to your bullshit, Jo!" He teases her, getting the revenge he deserves for what Jo said to him earlier in the evening.  
"Touchè." She ends up saying, satisfied.  
Maya and Lola are silent for the whole ride, exchanging a few looks when the others are too busy to pay attention to them.  
It seems to last forever. When their neighbourhood approces on the street, both girls let out a sigh of relief.

As soon as they step into Maya's apartment, clothes start being thrown on the floor and on whatever surface they land on in the frenziness of the moment.  
Their skin burn with desire and all Lola's wishes to wait before sleeping with Maya disappear like they never existed in the first place.  
Their hands wander in every part of each other bodies, caressing the soft skin, while the kiss away every insecurity about the future of their relationship.  
There's only the present now.  
There's only the present when they stumble into the bed and Maya presses Lola's naked body on the matress, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses everywhere, until Lola's thighs trembles and she sees stars behide her closed eyelids.  
There's only the present when the position switch and Lola's on top of Maya, repeting the same things she did to her a few moments before.  
When they're done, they hold each other in a tight hug and the older girl caresses Lola's hair until she falls asleep. Before Maya drifts off, she takes a last look to the girl in her arms and smiles. Then, she closes her eyes and falls into a dreamless rest.

...

The soft morning light seeps through the courtains and the low singing of birds wakes Lola up from her sleep.  
She has her head on the crook of Maya's neck and can feel her breath on her hair. This is exactly what Lola wanted from the minute she saw Maya.  
It certantly wasn't the first time she had sex but It was definitely the first time she didn't feel the need to run out the person's house as soon as possible.  
All those years running away from intimacy when in reality it feels so good to finally be able to let yourself slow down for a moment and just forget that getting hurt is even possibility.  
She shifts under the covers and turns around to get her phone. It's filled of Daphnè's texts. Fuck. She completely forgot to tell her she wasn't coming back for the night.

 ** _from Daphne_** : Lola where are you? Are you coming home?  
**_from Daphne_** : I'm worried, where the fuck are you?  
**_from Daphne_** : Tell me at least that you're okay...

 _ **to Daphne**_ : I'm sorry, I'm okay don't worry. I stayed at a friend's house.

 ** _from Daphne_** : FUCKING FINALLY! I was so worried you have no idea... We'll have a talk when you get home.

Lola sighs at the last message and doesn't reply. She won't let her sister ruin the morning after her best night out ever.  
Her sighs was probably so loud that Maya starts to move and puts her arm around Lola's waist, bringing her closer to her like she was until a few minutes ago.  
"Come here." Maya murmurs with a morning voice and Lola can't help but leaving a little kiss on the tip of her nose.  
"You're always this clingy right after you wake up?" Lola whispers sarcastically, brushing her lips near Maya's ear.  
"Shut. Up." and Lola can't speak even if she wants to because Maya's lips are suddently on hers, soft like she remembers them and she's kissing her softly while her hands wander on Lola's sides making her shiver.  
They end up staying in bed until noon, making out lazily, until a phone rings breaking the moment.

"I have to take it, It's work." Maya answers the call and Lola just listens to her talking, still in the comfortable warm of the covers and the girl's naked body against hers.  
"Fuck, I have to go. I completely forgot I had to cover a shift for one of my collegue and now my boss wants to kill me." She groans, leaving a last peck on Lola's lips. "Come on, we have to get dressed!" She adds, when the brunette doesn't make any move to get out of bed.  
In the end, they both search around the house for their clothes and get dressed in a hurry. Okay, it finished everything too rapidly for Lola's taste but work is work and it's not Maya's fault. At least she has Daphnè that thinks about the bills but Maya has to pay them herself.  
Seeing her so independent at such a young age reminds her that one day she's gonna have to do the same because her sister isn't going to be there forever. Or at least not economically speaking.

Lola still has her hair ruffled and a sleepy face when they get out of Maya's flat. She didn't even brush her teeth. Fortunately, Maya didn't complain about her morning breath.  
"I'm sorry to leave you like that. The next time you'll stay at mine as much as you want, doing everything you want..." the girls mumbles at Lola's ear, leaving a little kiss there.  
Lola immediately brings her arms around Maya's neck. "So there will be a next time, huh?" She smirks, teasing her a bit.  
"If you want, there will be a next time... And a time after that, and after that and -" Her words are interrupted by a loud noise of a door closing, but not a random door, the door of Lola's apartment. Daphnè is standing there, in the hall, eyes roaming on Maya and Lola, an amused smile curving her lips.

"So... She's _the friend_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, yep. Mayla are happy.  
> But let’s give a little shoutout to my girl Jo, I’m definitely having too much fun writing her.
> 
> As always, feedbacks are extremely appreciated! Also, let me know in the comments if you would like a Jo pov fic 🤔
> 
> Find me on tumblr at @nowaynoee


	3. give me shapes and letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three here we go!  
> This is probably the longest so far because i had a lot of ideas and i really wanted to fit everything in one.
> 
> Tw: mention of alcoholism, parent’s death, car accident

The universe really hates her, huh. 

"Shouldn't you be at work?" Lola asks it innocently, like she wasn't totally snuggling in Maya's arms not even a second ago. Daphnè had some kind of power of arriving always at the wrong moment. "Shouldn't you be at a friend's house?" her sister hinted, looking at their neighbour who, by the way, still has her arms placed on Lola's waist and doesn't have any intention of moving. "-- and don't even start to complain, i may be innocent, but she's definitely _not_ a friend." Daphne adds, before her sister can come up with a lame excuse.   
The situation was pretty obvious from the start and yes, her sister is naive sometimes, but not that much to confuse a friendly behaviour with a full on flirting session with hands and lips and whispers.   
Lola pulls Maya away gently, resting the palm of her hand on the girl's shoulder. Instead of talking, she just watched the two sisters dealing with their thing with a grin on her face.   
"Maya was going so..." She turns her gaze to her and murmurs an _i'm sorry_. This is really not how she planned to say goodbye to her... Well, they still don't have a label on it, it's not like they talked too much the other night or during the morning. Plus, Lola has nothing in contrary to waiting a bit to see how everything goes. One thing is for sure though: she never felt like this with anyone before.   
"Yeah, I must go or my boss is really going to kill me. Uhm -- let's keep the presentations for the next time, yeah?" Maya rambles, and then she's gone into the elevator.   
Lola remains silent for an instant. She expected at least a kiss on the cheek but it's okay, she was probably a little intimidated by Daphnè's questioning look to show more affection than she already did.   
"Why didn't you tell me anything?" Her sister demands, teasing her with a small punch on the shoulder. "She looks cool!" She ends up saying with a big smile of approvement.   
"It's still too early. I don't even know what we are." Normally, she wouldn't talk with her sister about the people she hooks up with but this time it doesn't feel like a hook up at all. What they did last night wasn't just meaningless sex during the heat of the moment, at least not for Lola. It was good, passionate even, and she could tell by the way Maya was holding her, making her feel good and always asking for consent before doing anything that she was into it to, that she really cared.   
"You like her? - I mean, really really like her?" Daphnè asks her, moving a strand of her dark hair behind her ear and caressing delicately her cheek.   
"I do but... Listen, can we talk about this later? I'm still in a sleep daze." She's really not and for sure her sister knows she's not but fortunately she leaves her be, mouthing an _okay, see you later_.  
The first thing that she does once she's in her flat is throwing herself on the bed and take a look at the photos that she took at the urbex party.  
Surprisingly, they're better than she expected and not blurry at all. The flashing lights contributed in making them even cooler with all the graffiti in the background.

She wonders how Maya would have looked like in one of the picture. If the bright fluo colors on her jacket would have resalted or if her ruffled hair by the light breeze would have taken their spot.

  
...

  
Two days passed since the last time she saw and heard from Maya.  
She forced herself to think it wasn't that big of a deal, that maybe she was just busy with work, but considering the last time Maya disappeared was because she thought Lola was straight... She is a bit worried now. Sometimes she hears her neighbour's door open and close, occasionally some music coming from her flat but nothing else. At least Lola is sure that she isn't bringing any other girl into the house because otherwise she would have heard. Anyway, it is better to think that Maya isn't hooking up with anybody else at the moment.

On the third day, Lola does a thing she last did four months and a half ago.   
She goes to her mother's grave. Last time she visited her mother it was soon after her funeral.

When she died her whole family and some of her friends were present at the ceremony, it was crowded even if most of them people didn’t even know who she truly was. Everyone was crying but Lola. She kept a glacial expression in the church, at the cemetery and also when they came back home. In the darkness of her room, that night, she tried to shed tears. She tried to think of her good moments with her mother, she tried to recall her hugs when she wasn’t drunk or her proud smile when she found out that Lola had the same passion for photography as her. It didn’t work, and she didn’t know why. Maybe it was still too early to process what happened. Maybe it was still too early to realize that she would have never seen her mom again.  
So, two weeks after her death she went to her grave again, this time alone and without telling anyone she was going. Daphnè would have never let her go alone if she told her. She stood still in front of that cold big piece of marble with still fresh flowers on it till her feet hurt. Then, she let herself kneel down, tracing the letters that composed her name. Only then, she felt the first tear came out. She dried it off fast but it was already too late. Many more of it started to come down on her face, and she couldn’t stop them anymore. Even the sky seemed to understand her pain as rain started pouring down heavily, wetting her hair and clothes. She stayed there, letting her emotions out for hours, until the light of the day faded into an orange down. 

Now, four months and a half later, she’s there again. This time though she isn’t crying, nor she has intention to. The reason why she went in the first place after such a long time is to clear her thoughts, to tell her mother what’s bothering her and what things she still can’t let go of. She never talks out loud with her mother, not even on her grave, it’s not like she can receive a vocal reply. So she just talks in her head, she sometimes murmurs when it gets overwhelming, until she feels a little lighter.

 _You know mom, these months without you have been the best and the worst of my life all together. The best because i didn’t have to see you drunk or passed out on the floor like i used to almost every day, especially in the last year. I didn’t have to see Daphnè crying on our father’s arms because she didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have to see my dad always cleaning up the mess you made because you were too out of it to do it. A weight has been lifted off my chest when you died. I won’t lie and you know it._ _But, at the same time, i also found myself missing even those horrible moments. That’s why these months were also the worst of my life. The truth is that even after all the things you put us through, you put me through, I still miss you and I’ll always do. I miss your after fight-hugs, your voice, your smell and the way you understood me just by a look. We were so similar mom, we really were. And it scares me._   
_I know you didn’t live the life you wanted because you were scared to take a leap of faith. And that ruined you.  
You made me promise a thing one time... To live fully, to take that leap of faith if i had the opportunity to. I have it now. I’ll do it, mom, I’ll do it also for you. I promise._

In the end, a tiny tear streams down her face, but she smiles when she wipes it down. She gets up from the sitting position she was on and takes a last look at her mother’s grave. She placed on it fresh freesias as soon as she arrived, their purple bright on the dark colour of the marble. The heat of the sun makes Lola’s skin shine with sweat and if she doesn’t move soon she’ll probably end up sunburnt. The sky this time is clear and painted in a light blue.

  
...

  
When she comes back home, she finds Daphnè half laying on the couch with a book in her hands. She seems relaxed and concentrated in reading, almost enough to not hear her sitting on her side and laying her head on her shoulder. “Hey. You’re back.” Lola hears her sister saying, snuggling more close to her.  
After their mother’s death they rebuilt their relationship and found a common ground. Lola let her in like she never did and surprisingly she found in her sister a maturity she didn’t expect. Daphnè has always been the naive one, the always smiling and popular girl that appeared to care more about other’s thoughts than her own. It was true in a way, but just like everybody, you reach a point where you realize you have to grow up and that’s what Daphnè did.   
“I went to mom’s grave today.” Lola murmurs, lifting her head to look her sister in the eyes. She doesn’t say anything, she only smiles fondly at her and letting out a little sigh.   
“I went because i had to remind myself the promise i did to her... To not be scared.” She adds, lowering her gaze to her hands, not intertwined in her lap.   
“Are you scared of something?” Daphnè asks her with a low voice. She always lowers her voice when she knows what Lola is going to say.   
“I don’t know.” She whispers, shaking her head a little. “This is about Maya, right?” Yes, as Lola supposed, her sister immediately recognized what it was everything about.   
“I like her, I _really_ really like her — but it’s been three days since i last heard of her, i don’t know what to do.” Here it is, she said it.  
It’s kind of the same situation that she was in almost a week ago: _should i text her or shouldn’t i?_ But this time the feelings only grew stronger, and she didn’t have a name for them yet. Is it possible to barely know a person but feeling like you’ve waited for them your whole life?   
“Lola, look at me. Once you told me that I cared too much about what people thought of me and it was true. Now you’re doing the same exact thing. You’ll never know what’s inside her head but you’ll always know what’s going on in yours. If you like her, don’t let fear stop you and act on your feelings. If it goes well, well it will probably be the best moment of your life.” She quietly laughs at the last words. “If it doesn’t, then it’s not the end of the world. You’ll suffer and you’ll get back on your feet like you always do. You’re the strongest person i know.” She gently cups her sister’s face with her hands and places a kiss on her forehead. Lola takes the words in, feels the softness of Daphnè’s lips on her skin and lets a smile curve up her lips.   
“You are the strongest person i know too, Daphnè.” She whispers before throwing her arms around her and holding her in a tight hug.

Lola ends in Daphnè’s bed for the night, snuggled up under the covers. When she’s sure her sister’s asleep, she takes her phone and clicks on Maya’s contact.

 ** _to Maya_** : are you free this week? we can hang out if you want

After a few minutes, her phone’s screen illuminates and a text shows up.

 ** _from Maya_** : sure. tomorrow evening at my place? 

**_to Maya_** : 👌 see you tomorrow. goodnight 

**_from Maya_** : goodnight 🌌

When she reads the last message, she does with her eyes half closed. She places her phone near her and shifts on a comfortable position. Before she can think how tomorrow might go, she drifts off to sleep.

  
...

  
Tomorrow evening comes in a heartbeat.

Anxiety is creeping up on her and there's nothing she can do about it. For an instant, she regrets sending that message in the first place. Then she gets over herself and instead of a forced smile she relaxes her face muscles into a comfortable expression as she knocks on Maya's door.  
She doesn't know what to expect when her neighbour opens it, revealing her ruffled purple hair and a sincere smile on her lips. "Hey." the girls murmurs and Lola can see she can't make up her mind on how what to do with her body. She sees her getting closer but not close enough to kiss her on the lips, her hands travel to her shoulders instead of her waist and then Lola realizes what Maya has in mind. She kisses her on the cheek, a little longer that a person normally would, and she can get away with it for now. At least she didn't completely ignore physical contact.  
"Hey." She replies after, but she's not sure Maya heard it.  
"You want to eat or drink something?" and Lola nods. "Umh - water is fine." She answers, receiving a nod in return. Lola follows Maya's figure in her tiny kitchen, searching for water in the fridge and then probably remembering that she forgot to place the bottles in it. She bends down near the counter, where six bottles are still packed in plastic, and proceeds to take one. From where Lola is she can see a thin line of skin of her back showing thanks to the position she's in and when she lets her eyes travel down... _God Lola, stop_.  
"You good?" She notices Maya talking to her a few seconds later, the time of getting out the trance she was in. "Yeah sorry, i was just thinking." What a lame excuse, she thinks.  
"What were you thinking about?" the older girl asks her and Lola bets that there's a bit of teasing in her voice. It doesn't come out flirty but still. In the meantime, they both found their place on the couch like the last time in her house but in this moment the tension could be cut by a knife. She can't quite pinpoint what kind of tension this is.  
"After - you know... You didn't text me. I thought you were busy but -" before she can finish, Maya interrupts her and finds Lola's hand with her own, but she doesn't intertwine their fingers.  
"About that I'm sorry. It's not because I wanted to ignore you, believe me, I just needed some time to think on what to do." She sees her face turning from relaxed to tense. "It's not that easy."  
Lola feels her heart skipping a beat. Was it a way to say that they should end things before they even started?  
"What's not easy?" She asks, placing her other hand on top of Maya's one.

"It ever happened to you to be scared of something that can happen but at the same time you know it probably won't? You just end up realizing it's all in your head but you can't help to think about it?" Maya whispers the last sentence and Lola thanks to be this close to her because otherwise it would have been too low to be comprehensible. She feels her words deep to her core. Of course it happened to her, it still happens to her. When she thinks about how her mother ruined her life abusing with alcohol, she can't help but wonder if one day she could become like her and fall in the same pattern of autodestruction. Maybe it happened already in another universe.  
"Yes, everyday." Lola replies, biting her bottom lip and looking down. "But it's exhausting to be scared all the time, you know?" Her eyes snap back up, locking them into Maya's.  
Maya nods and takes a breath before speaking again. "I was with my parents when they died, in the backseat. Fortunately the front seats made a shield and protected me from the impact, I just hitted my head and passed out. I woke up the day after the accident and found out that i didn't have a family anymore." Her voice's unsteady at this point but she keeps talking regardless. "Life took away from me the most important thing i had. One day i had it all and the day after i had anything, just like that."  
Lola only realizes now that Maya's grip on her hand tightened so much to be almost painful but she would never get away from the comforting contact she's offering her.  
"That's why it's hard for me to put effort in relationships, especially when i really like the person i'm involved with. I keep it casual just in case something like this happens again. I don't want to suffer like that anymore." Maya finishes, shaking her head.   
"I'm sorry for what happened to you and your parents, i really am." Lola starts, a determined expression on her face. She won't hide anymore. "I know how you feel - remember when i told you about my mother? Sometimes i'm afraid i'll become like her, i'm afraid that life is going to be so hard on me that i'll fall in a vicious circle of autodistruction like she did." She inhales and exhale one time. "Then i remember i promised her a thing: to not be afraid to take a leap of faith. We'll never know what the future has in store for us, that's why we must live in the present. We'll be still scared? Sure, but i don't want to lose an opportunity to be truly happy because of it. We all deserve to be happy, Maya."

Lola doesn't hear a vocal reply at her words, instead a pair of soft lips are pressed gently against hers and one hand has traveled in the back of her neck to bring her closer.  
She feels dampness on Maya's cheeks when she cups her face and, without interrupting the kiss, she dries it off with her thumbs. The kiss quickly turns from tender to heated and Lola finds herself into Maya's lap, the girl hand's on her waist and fingers touching the hot skin under her shirt.   
Lola breaks away from the kiss to remove Maya's shirt but before going back to the make out session she takes a look at the skin of her chest and stomach. It's not the first time she sees Maya without clothes but the truth is that she didn't pay attention during their night together. She didn't notice in the dark of the older girl's room the scar on her ribs nor the dandelion tattoo that turned it from a normal scar to a part of the flower. Lola traces the tattoo with her fingers, making Maya shiver.  
"You like it?" Maya asks and Lola nods, smiling fondly at her. "Dandelions represent freedom, dreams and the possibility of starting over. Well, you can guess why i did it." She chuckles, putting a strand on Lola's hair behind her ear. _I'm falling in love with you_ , Lola wants to say but doesn't. 

She moves off Maya's lap, forcing herself not to laugh when she hears her complain about it, and takes off her shirt for good measure. Maya has a questioning look on her face but it's not too long until she realizes what Lola has in mind. She stands still, sinking more into the cushions, while Lola kneels between her legs. Her hands trace a path on Maya's knees, thighs, hips and stop when they're both placed at her waist. She comes closer and closer to where her tattoo inks her skin and kisses all over it with a particular attention to where the scar is. It's tender the way she does it and she hears Maya sigh a bit out of breath. Then her kiss turn open mouthed and close to where she knows Maya wants them the most. _In this moment, suspended in space and time, they're happy_.

  
...

"I want to take you to a place." Maya whispers in the crook of Lola's neck, their bodies still tangled to one another on the couch.  
"Where?" Lola asks, leaving a kiss on top of Maya's hair. They smell of coconut and hair dye, this time she opted for an even brighter purple that make her brown eyes stand out.  
She's always been beautiful but now, cuddled up on her body, still shiny with sweat from before and the down lights coming from the window she's outstanding and Lola can barely believe that this is not a dream, this is reality.  
"You'll see - tonight. I want to stay like this a little longer, _with you_." She mutters, caressing Lola's cheek with her thumb. _Me too_ , Lola mumbles back.

When _tonight_ comes, it does with a run that makes Lola's lungs burn.  
Maya brought her into the abandoned racecourse they had their first kiss in, at the urbex party. Without the flashing lights and the music the place looks extremely gloomy and the silence is deafening. The graffiti are barely visible with just the moonlight but the way Maya looks under it makes up for it.  
When they arrived at the exact same place where the make out session everybody was mocking them about Maya got closer to her, till her breath tickled Lola's ear.  
"Catch me if you can." She whispered and then started running at such a speed that Lola lost her for a moment. Her legs started functioning on their own, her muscles contracting furiously to mantein the rhythm as she runned throughout the whole racecourse and up what seemed like a hundred stairs.  
The almost lung collapse is worth it though because the roof of the building is extremely big and has a spectacular view on the city. There are fairy lights attached on the walls, probably Maya wasn't the only one to have the idea of bringing there a loved one.   
"This is my favourite place." She hears Maya say while she admires the view. "And you had to make me lose a lung to see it?" Lola jokes but she's very, very out of breath.  
"You're just being dramatic, come on!" The older girl laughs, turning around to see Lola bent down, in a squat position with her hands on her thighs. "Are you serious? Lola you're not dying." She laughs even louder, mocking her.  
"Well it feels like it!" In the end, Lola laughs too and comes closer to Maya. "Anyway, it's beautiful over here. Very romantic." She smirks at her and bites her bottom lip.  
At her words, Maya puts her arms around Lola's neck. Lola's eyes roam all over her face, trying to decipher her look. 

"I took you here because i didn't want to tell you what i'm about to tell you in a very messy apartment, you deserve more effort than that." She seems determined when she talks, her voice steady and tender at the same time. She stops speaking for a moment and her lips move trying to search the right words. "I know that earlier i said that i'm scared of relationships because of what happened to years ago. I also know that you understood - the thing is that your words got me but, Lola, i'll be probably scared my whole life. In the back of my mind there will always be that thought. I don't want to lie to you." She's serious and for a moment she looks down, almost too afraid to look Lola in the eyes. "I just wanted to live without the fear of losing someone again. Casual hook ups as always been my thing because they're easy. You fuck and that's it." She adds.  
"Wait - you brought me here to tell me that you just want hook up?" Lola can't help but have a disappointed expression on her face. No, she doesn't want only to have sex with her. It was easy with strangers but not with Maya, the person she opened up with. She can't believe that after the moments they shared Maya is really about to end everything like it's nothing. She doesn't want to believe it. It would hurt too much knowing that the first time she fell in love with someone, because that's what she is _in love_ , she gets to have her heart broken.  
"No. I brought you here because i can't get you off my mind since the first time i saw you. I knew i was fucked, I knew that with you it wasn't just a random hook up. I felt it Lola, i really did. What i said earlier it's true, i'll be scared my whole life but i don't want to lose this, i don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose you because i'm falling in love with you, Lola. I know we met not too long ago but - I don't know, it feels right." Maya let's out a breath of relief, like she has waited too much time to say it. She probably did.  
  
Lola is left without words. A minute ago she thought she was going to lose Maya and then she drops the bomb. Her eyes get watery and a big smile appear on her face.  
Daphnè was right when she told her that if things went well it was going to feel like the best day of her life. That's not even it. This is probably the best she ever felt.   
"I'm falling in love with you too, Maya." She lets out and then they both laugh, holding eachother in a tight embrace. Lola fists Maya's shirt like she always does and whispers in her ear. "I'm not letting you go, i promise." She hears Maya sighing and when breaks up the hug to place her forehead on Maya's one she dries the few tears on the girl's face with her thumbs. They rest like that for a few seconds, then Lola murmurs. "So - now i can call you my girlfriend?" Maya bites her bottom lip before replying, just to leave her on the edge for a tiny bit. "You better." She finally answers and then, before Lola can say something, she captures her lips in a passionate kiss. One of those kisses that sweep you off your feet and make your legs tremble and give up. They both sigh into it because it feels like home, it feels sacred and it's all about them and no one else.

" _I want to remember this moment forever_." Lola whispers on Maya's lips,  
  
" _I know a way_." Maya whispers back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can’t believe we’re almost at the end!  
> There will be an epilogue coming out soon to give this story a definitive closure.  
> Hope you enjoyed it so far <3
> 
> Find me on tumblr at @nowaynoee


	4. tattoos together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe we already reached the end! This story was so much fun to write.  
> Enjoy the epilogue of the story full of Mayla fluff <3

**_ Epilogue  
_ ** _(Three months later)_

What a crazy ride have been these three months with Maya.

For the first few weeks they both decided to remain silent about their relationship, and even if Maya's friends and Daphnè found out immediately they didn't say anything to let them enjoy the little thing they created just the two of them.   
Lola went out again with lamifex, that's what Maya's friends called themselves, and urbex parties soon became a recurrent thing. She even found, thanks to her girlfriend (what a relief calling her like that), a job as a trainee in a photo studio. The pay isn't much but it's enough to have some money just in case she decides to go out or buy something and plus it allows her to do what she loves.

After one month together they decided to have a road trip just the two of them. Maya was reluctant to drive again after what happened to her parents but with Lola and her therapist support she slowly started using the car again. They went all the way to a small town in the countryside and camped in the fields. During the night, the sky filled with stars, and they often remained outside their tent, wrapped in a huge blanket, to watch them till the light of dusk slowly putted them to sleep.   
Privacy was never a problem for them, since Maya has her own flat, but staying away from people close to them also helped to build a healthier and more relaxed intimacy.  
They also talked a lot about their past, what they went through and how they went through it, making sure communication was always there to prevent fights.

...

The second month, Lola presented officially Maya at her sister, this time not in a hurry. They ate in Lola and Daphnè's apartment and talked all night.  
"I knew it! I noticed that Lola had a crush but i couldn't pinpoint who the lucky one was. Then i saw you too together and she literally had heart eyes." Daphnè remarked, pointing at Lola that, visibly embarrassed, hid her face in Maya's shoulder.   
"I was definitely more subtle than Lola, that's for sure." Maya laughs, caressing her girlfriend hair. Lola loves when she does it and she knows too well.  
"No, you really weren't Maya!" Both Daphnè and Lola chuckled, shaking their heads. Lola wasn't the best at hiding her gay panic but neither was Maya with all that gay staring.  
"And that's on being roasted by my sister!" She muffled, leaving a little peck on Maya's cheek. In response, she smirked and brought her arm around Lola's shoulders.  
"Wait - is that a new tattoo?" Daphnè blurted out when she saw the tattoo on Maya's forearm, finally healed and free from the wrapping. "Is it... I don't remember how they're called, im sorry." She really tried to guess and Maya patiently waited while she was thinking about it.  
"It's a Geisha. It's a tribute to my Japanese heritage and also my parents. They always used to tell me stories about them, and they have a strong meaning too." Maya starts, taking a look at the feminine figure on her arm. "They represent feminine power, art and mystery. Their story is extremely fascinating." She adds. Lola traced her finger on her tattoo, following the lines and made Maya shiver at the sudden contact.  
"Would love to hear it someday." Lola whispered in her ear and took her hand.

...

On the third month they had their first fight.   
They both knew it would have happened at some point because humans aren't perfect and sometimes emotions get in the was a little too much. Especially jealousy.   
They were at an urbex party when it happened. They were all spread out on a old dusty couch they found in the abandoned building and talking about meaningless things.  
Maya had Lola laid on her chest and was playing with her hair like she always did. Lola's eyes were wondering on the people there, some of them dancing and other drinking. The music was loud as always and the place was much more crowded this time. Before turning away her eyes from the crowd to bring them back to Maya, she saw him. Walking towards her with heavy steps. The fuck?   
"Oh _putain_. I have to go, be right back." She suddenly said, leaving Maya behind her complaining. She sighed too for the lack of contact but she had to handle him alone.  
"What the fuck are you doing here, Aymeric?" Lola yelled, her face turning from annoyed into angry in the spare of one second when she saw him laughing at her.  
"What? Aren't you happy to see me?" He replied, trying to reach to her with his hand and she quickly shoving it away.  
Aymeric was one of her one night stand. Or maybe more than a night. Lola went out with him for a month but never officially dated him. She started hanging out with him soon after her mother's death and it was the distraction she needed but apart from that no feelings were involved from her part. He never really accepted her ending things with him and he tried multiple times to get her back but she never looked behind. It was good while it lasted but that's it.  
"No, i'm definitely not." Lola emphasized the _not_ part specifically.   
"I'm not here for you, I swear Lola. They invited me, i saw you and i wanted to talk to you." Lola wasn't really listening at him, more concentrated on not being caught my Maya talking to him. "I told you a million times that between us there's nothing and there won't be nothing. Not now, not ever." She said, a determined look on her face.  
"Please Lola, at least give me another possibility. Give us another possibility!" He pleaded, moving a hand to touch Lola's cheek.

"What is happening here?"   
Maya's voice made Lola jump. A moment before she was comfortably sitting on the couch and then she was in front of them, looking paler even under the flashing lights.  
She told Maya about Aymeric during their first month together and she was happy she did, it made her feel lighter and made also her aware of his existence just in case.   
"Nothing, he was going." Lola affirmed, gazing at Aymeric, her lips pressed together in a annoyed frown.   
"Oh, I get it. Too bad you're not having fun with dicks anymore." He faked a smile and looked firstly at Lola and then at Maya. Before walking back towards the crowd he made sure to take a look at Lola's body again, from head to toes, probably just to piss Maya off.  
"What the fuck? Why he was touching your cheek?" Maya argued. "And what was that last look?" She added, visibly irritated. She looked angry but Lola didn't buy it. The softness in her girlfriend eyes was still there regardless and it wouldn't be if she actually thought Lola was somehow trying to flirt with the guy.  
"He tried to ask me out again, to give him another possibility, but i said no obviously. When he tried to touch me i shoved his hand away immediately, you saw it!" Lola reasoned, her voice loud to make herself be heard over the music.   
"Yeah, i saw it... But still! He looked at you with hungry eyes, i swear i could hear what he was thinking." Maya sighed, shaking her head. "What a creep."  
"Oh, you're jealous!" It was so obvious at this point that it wasn't the girlfriend-guy interaction that made her upset, it was how he was creepily eating her with his eyes.  
Lola started laughing, mocking her a bit. "You have nothing to worry about." She stated.  
"I know - I just... I don't want you to think i don't want you to talk with other guys or girls because it's not true, but knowing his obsession for you - I don't know why i reacted like this. i'm sorry." Maya apologized and Lola quickly placed her arms around her neck.   
"I don't want anybody else but you, Maya. You're all i need." 

* * *

"It won't hurt, right?"

"It's like getting a scratch from a cat. You can handle it, _mon amour_."

Lola never thought about getting a tattoo before. Sure, she liked them, but she always used to get bored with things easily and having something on a part of her body forever knowing she would end up hating it wasn't exactly what she aimed at.  
After that night at the racecourse though, she changed her mind. She wanted to remember how she felt in that moment because she swears she never felt better in her life.  
When she told Maya her idea, she pleasantly agreed to design the perfect piece of art for her skin and also to tattoo her herself. Lola would have never let anybody else do it and Maya knew it. The trust between the two runs already deep.  
She ended up choosing to get a little daisy on the inside of her upper arm. Maya's drawing was simple but effective and when Lola saw the stamp on her skin she loved it right away.

"Like i ever had a cat's scratch - okay, let's do it. Go." Lola urges, already wanting to get away with it. It's not her fault if her pain tolerance level in equal to zero. It's her genes.  
Maya nods and starts to puncture her skin following the line of the stamp. It doesn't hurt that much, her girlfriend was right, but it's not exacly the most pleasurable feeling in the world. It stings and after a few minutes she asks Maya to stop for a second.  
"Everything's alright?" Maya asks, placing a kiss on top of Lola's head. "I'm trying to be as delicate as possible."  
"Yeah, i just needed a moment... You can start again." Lola replies, but before letting her go back to her job she steals her a kiss.  
After half an hour the tattoo is completed and she looks at it with a big satisfied smile. It's beautiful, just like the girl in front of her.   
"I love it." She murmurs, her eyes not leaving it for a second. She tries to touch it through the plastic wrapped on it but the skin is irritated, so she quickly removes her fingers.  
"It suits you." Maya admits while she finishes putting the wrapping and tape around it.  
And Lola doesn't know what changes between them in that instant but suddenly they both find themselves with their eyes locked. They stare into each other eyes for a moment, savoring it, until Lola breaks the silence.

"I - _I love you, Maya_." She blurts out in a surge of courage, like she can't suddenly hold the words inside her head anymore.  
Maya smiles at her, one of those smiles that make Lola's heart skip a beat. " _I love you too, Lola_."

And then they're kissing, maybe to passionately for being in a tattoo shop, but the feelings get the best of them making both unaware of the outside world.  
Lola holds her with her arms around her neck and Maya has both hands placed on Lola's waist while they lose into one another again, again and again.  
When Lola breaks away from the kiss to breath a look Maya, her girlfriend, in the eyes she thinks _"I did mom. I took that leap of faith and I couldn't be happier."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you arrived here, thank you for reading my loves!! Just reminding feedback is always appreciated. See y'all soon!
> 
> I’ll post ideas and prompts on my tumblr @nowaynoee, if you want you can find me there as always ✨💜


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